What a crazy couple of weeks.
My husbands cousin, who in my husbands words, was more like a brother, died in a motorcycle accident last week. It's been really hard on my husband, and since his cousin was the same age, I think it's making him think really hard about his mortality as well.
I've also been dealing with some really crappy post partum depression. I knew it could happen any time in the first year, but I honestly didn't expect it to show up as E. was turning 5 months old. I kind of ignored it for about three weeks, but it's been to the point I can't stop crying for more then 20 minutes at a time. E. had a doctors appointment yesterday - I was worried he had an ear infection, because he has been mauling his right ear, and refusing to eat on my left breast, and screams when I lay him on his right side. (Turns out his right side is just really stiff - his dr. is going to do some more cranio sacral therapy at his next well child check up and she referred me to a chiropractor for both children.) Anyway, I mentioned to her that I thought I may have been over-worrying because I was dealing with some post partum depression. She asked "Are you hearing voices, planning on harming yourself, thinking about throwing your kids out the window?" I was like "Um... no. I just can't stop crying and I am always feeling guilty." That's not me. I am a really happy, giddy person. So, I think this depression is kind of affecting my family as well, especially my husband.
I do have some awesome friends tho - ones who get me out of myself. One friend, who has been through it to, is just ALWAYS available to talk things out with, another brought me roses last night, just to make me smile, and another always makes sure I go out and do something if I'm feeling low. And my husband... if I need it, will immediately give me a big hug. :)
The husband and I have been talking about moving. Our current apartment is a 2 and a half bedroom but its really small for four people. We'd also like to be a bit closer to his job... anyway, along with that comes the idea of homeschooling/unschooling. I've been interested in doing that for years, but always get alot of flack from people when I mention it. I think A. would really enjoy it, plus, she could learn in a way that is easier for her, and also get out and do things, go meet people. I'm going to need to do a lot of research on it, though. See about the laws in Maine, etc.
Well, I have tons of paperwork to fill out, and hopefully some cleaning to get to. Have a great day!
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Saturday, September 17, 2011
E.'s intro
So... E.'s introduction.
E. is pretty awesome. He just turned five months old this week. He has reddish blond hair, just like my first son did, and amazing blue eyes. We have no idea where the blue eyes came from, as I have brown and my husband has hazel. I'm sure it came from an aunt or uncle or grandparent, just like the hair did.
I'm not totally sure what his favorite color is, but I can tell you his favorite food is breast milk. His favorite activity... I think its a toss up between sleeping and pulling hair.
E. is in OT just like his big sissy, and he's doing quite well. He was initially brought into OT because he was losing weight, due to a very weak jaw, and some sensory issues with his mouth. OT has helped SO much with him. His jaw is EXTREMELY strong now. It was a shock, when he hit four months old, and my milk FINALLY fully came in. He still has some sensory issues with his mouth. He tends to gag if you touch his lips, but we work on that quite a bit. I think besides that, the only concern is his right side. He has a very hard time rolling over on that side, and when a rattle is shaken on that side of his head he'll track it until it hits his peripheral vision and then he stops. Instead of turning his head to follow it, he seems to forget it was there.
I am SO stinkin' excited that autumn has hit. Temps in the 50's and 60's. Sweaters, the autumn leaves, making fairy houses, the colors of autumn, baking, and cooking cold weather meals! So awesome. Ah, and let me not forget, it means I can begin counting down to Christmas. As of today: 98 days until Christmas! On my facebook page, every year for the past three years I've done a Christmas Countdown, where I post a Christmas related link along with how many days are left until Christmas. It drives my husband CRAZY. I love it.
I hope everyone enjoys their weekend!!
E. is pretty awesome. He just turned five months old this week. He has reddish blond hair, just like my first son did, and amazing blue eyes. We have no idea where the blue eyes came from, as I have brown and my husband has hazel. I'm sure it came from an aunt or uncle or grandparent, just like the hair did.
I'm not totally sure what his favorite color is, but I can tell you his favorite food is breast milk. His favorite activity... I think its a toss up between sleeping and pulling hair.
E. is in OT just like his big sissy, and he's doing quite well. He was initially brought into OT because he was losing weight, due to a very weak jaw, and some sensory issues with his mouth. OT has helped SO much with him. His jaw is EXTREMELY strong now. It was a shock, when he hit four months old, and my milk FINALLY fully came in. He still has some sensory issues with his mouth. He tends to gag if you touch his lips, but we work on that quite a bit. I think besides that, the only concern is his right side. He has a very hard time rolling over on that side, and when a rattle is shaken on that side of his head he'll track it until it hits his peripheral vision and then he stops. Instead of turning his head to follow it, he seems to forget it was there.
I am SO stinkin' excited that autumn has hit. Temps in the 50's and 60's. Sweaters, the autumn leaves, making fairy houses, the colors of autumn, baking, and cooking cold weather meals! So awesome. Ah, and let me not forget, it means I can begin counting down to Christmas. As of today: 98 days until Christmas! On my facebook page, every year for the past three years I've done a Christmas Countdown, where I post a Christmas related link along with how many days are left until Christmas. It drives my husband CRAZY. I love it.
I hope everyone enjoys their weekend!!
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Whew...
6:30 am and the kids are both up. Only because they both have OT appointments this morning. 7:30 which is quite early for A..
I guess I'll introduce my kids. A. is 6 years old. Her favorite colors are red and purple. She's a big fan of Shirley Temple, which I think may be only because she looks like her. And maybe acts like her as well. A. loves to sing and dance and do flips. She is in first grade this year and SLOWLY getting used to it. A. has daddy's attitude... uh oh. A. was diagnosed about two years ago with SPD (sensory processing disorder) and her doctor and occupational therapist are both pushing for a diagnosis of ADHD. I completely agree with the SPD diagnosis, but I'm not so sure about the ADHD. Aren't all six year olds incapable of holding conversations and sitting still? We'll see... but no matter what I refuse to medicate her. I don't vaccinate, why would I put her on chemicals to calm her down. I love her the way she is... tho she does drive me absolutely batty at times.
And between making school lunch, drinking my coffee and brushing hair it is now time to leave for OT, so E.'s introduction will have to wait until later.
I guess I'll introduce my kids. A. is 6 years old. Her favorite colors are red and purple. She's a big fan of Shirley Temple, which I think may be only because she looks like her. And maybe acts like her as well. A. loves to sing and dance and do flips. She is in first grade this year and SLOWLY getting used to it. A. has daddy's attitude... uh oh. A. was diagnosed about two years ago with SPD (sensory processing disorder) and her doctor and occupational therapist are both pushing for a diagnosis of ADHD. I completely agree with the SPD diagnosis, but I'm not so sure about the ADHD. Aren't all six year olds incapable of holding conversations and sitting still? We'll see... but no matter what I refuse to medicate her. I don't vaccinate, why would I put her on chemicals to calm her down. I love her the way she is... tho she does drive me absolutely batty at times.
And between making school lunch, drinking my coffee and brushing hair it is now time to leave for OT, so E.'s introduction will have to wait until later.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Oh. My.
I think I need to change something.
Here is what a typical day looks like in my family:
3 am - the alarm clock goes off. I turn it off, poke my husband, tell him to get up, and continue nursing our five month old son, E., while waiting for my husband to bring in our six year old daughter, A..
6:30 am - the alarm clock goes off again, and I turn it off, again, and think to myself, "I really need to get up.", usually falling asleep before the thought is finished.
7 am - I jerk awake, thinking "Oh crap!" I get dressed, bring my son into the living room and set him up for tummy time while I make my breakfast. I eat, check up on computer stuff, and then at around 7:24 realize it's time to wake A. up.
7:45 am - You'll find me arguing with A. about something, whether it be her hairstyle, her choice of shirt (tank tops are not allowed at school.), or whether or not she has to eat breakfast.
8:10 am - I am changing E.'s diaper, telling Adia to get her lunch box in her back pack, and her back pack on her back.
8:15 am - We all walk out the door, grumpy, and stressed. Great start to a day! Can you see why every day feels like a Monday morning?!
After E. and I have dropped A. off, we usually come back home with the best intentions to clean. And then I sit down to rock E. to sleep and all bets are off. 9 times out of 10, I'll still be sitting here 2 hours later, outlining exactly how I want to clean, and what needs to be done. E. will wake up, and I realize that its lunch time. So, I eat, feed E. and set him up to play for a bit. At that point I do some cleaning, whether it be cleaning the bathroom, or washing the dishes, or sweeping the dining room floor, or walking into A. and E.'s playroom and saying "Oh, good Lord.", or coming back into the living room and weeping like a baby at the insane mess. But something always gets done. Then I start thinking about making an after school snack for A., but it usually only gets as far as the thinking stage, as E., who has fallen asleep while I'm cleaning, wakes up about then. So, I feed him again, and play with him, and cuddle, and then realize it's time to pick A. up from school!!! When we come home from picking her up, I look through her school folder, and do what needs to be done, while she starts shouting that she's hungry, and starts rummaging through the pantry for food. I get E. back to sleep, have A. go play in her play room, or watch a movie, and I pretend to continue to clean. Then my husband gets home from work around 4:30 pm. Depending on the day, and what our plans are I start dinner at 5, and we are usually done by 6.... then there is craziness until about 8 pm when we get the kids ready for bed.
But its not working. I need to figure out a new way to do this.
Some of my plans are giving away as much as possible, and then throwing the rest out. We have so much EXTRA junk in our tiny little apartment. I think we need to set up routines too. (Mainly for me. I am SO unorganized!) And maybe waking A. up a liiiiiiiiittle bit earlier and having her go to bed earlier would be beneficial too.
Now, having said all this, the blog you are reading will be basically be about my adventures in mommy-hood and... well... life. So, I hope you enjoy, and bring your friends!!!!! :)
Here is what a typical day looks like in my family:
3 am - the alarm clock goes off. I turn it off, poke my husband, tell him to get up, and continue nursing our five month old son, E., while waiting for my husband to bring in our six year old daughter, A..
6:30 am - the alarm clock goes off again, and I turn it off, again, and think to myself, "I really need to get up.", usually falling asleep before the thought is finished.
7 am - I jerk awake, thinking "Oh crap!" I get dressed, bring my son into the living room and set him up for tummy time while I make my breakfast. I eat, check up on computer stuff, and then at around 7:24 realize it's time to wake A. up.
7:45 am - You'll find me arguing with A. about something, whether it be her hairstyle, her choice of shirt (tank tops are not allowed at school.), or whether or not she has to eat breakfast.
8:10 am - I am changing E.'s diaper, telling Adia to get her lunch box in her back pack, and her back pack on her back.
8:15 am - We all walk out the door, grumpy, and stressed. Great start to a day! Can you see why every day feels like a Monday morning?!
After E. and I have dropped A. off, we usually come back home with the best intentions to clean. And then I sit down to rock E. to sleep and all bets are off. 9 times out of 10, I'll still be sitting here 2 hours later, outlining exactly how I want to clean, and what needs to be done. E. will wake up, and I realize that its lunch time. So, I eat, feed E. and set him up to play for a bit. At that point I do some cleaning, whether it be cleaning the bathroom, or washing the dishes, or sweeping the dining room floor, or walking into A. and E.'s playroom and saying "Oh, good Lord.", or coming back into the living room and weeping like a baby at the insane mess. But something always gets done. Then I start thinking about making an after school snack for A., but it usually only gets as far as the thinking stage, as E., who has fallen asleep while I'm cleaning, wakes up about then. So, I feed him again, and play with him, and cuddle, and then realize it's time to pick A. up from school!!! When we come home from picking her up, I look through her school folder, and do what needs to be done, while she starts shouting that she's hungry, and starts rummaging through the pantry for food. I get E. back to sleep, have A. go play in her play room, or watch a movie, and I pretend to continue to clean. Then my husband gets home from work around 4:30 pm. Depending on the day, and what our plans are I start dinner at 5, and we are usually done by 6.... then there is craziness until about 8 pm when we get the kids ready for bed.
But its not working. I need to figure out a new way to do this.
Some of my plans are giving away as much as possible, and then throwing the rest out. We have so much EXTRA junk in our tiny little apartment. I think we need to set up routines too. (Mainly for me. I am SO unorganized!) And maybe waking A. up a liiiiiiiiittle bit earlier and having her go to bed earlier would be beneficial too.
Now, having said all this, the blog you are reading will be basically be about my adventures in mommy-hood and... well... life. So, I hope you enjoy, and bring your friends!!!!! :)
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